| hola como esta? |
[Feb. 27th, 2010|10:04 pm] |
moved to stockton.
no friends.
joined facebook.
no friends. |
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| ahh, life |
[Sep. 20th, 2008|01:04 pm] |
i knew me and kj were breaking up in APRIL. april. and yet it still hurt. in august. AUGUST.
i'm joining the CCC. my name is cc and i work at the CCC. no more idle hands. |
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| baby i still don't wanna move to sacramento |
[Apr. 20th, 2008|11:28 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drunk | ] |
baby i still don't wanna move to sacramento.
i still wanna see the beach and smell the surf and make cand sastles in the sand by the see mr. todd
and this is my dream, never fulfilled.
but i drink and i drink and i smoke and i smoke
and it's getting hard to be someone but it all works out
i listen to the beatles
my dog lissie is dead. she is in that picture trying to get away from my crazy self. she got attacked by coyotes. two of them. pretty much ripped her to shreds.
i have a dog named rollins. i got him a few months ago. he's barky.
i'm trying not to linger on old news new to no one i care about.
straight to the point i'm sick and tired and i'm sick and tired and i'm hungover.
and i'm at work and i'm hungover and i want to puke
i look like shit
at least i freakin took a shower
thinking thinking
trying to come to terms with myself, my life
i wish i had a garden
or something to keep my hands busy.
my hands are idle hands. yes.
i go to school still it's no fun it's A pluses all the time but it's not fun.
i feel like i'm pulsating
i don't do drugs no mo.
i play guitar
i play beatle songs and i play me songs and i watch movies and i think kj and me might be ending one of these days because we never talk and we always work but maybe we're still best friends i feel so bad so bad so bad and i saw leslie lambeth more like she saw me.
all fucked up on BIG RED PILLS
drunk.
oh well. ok.
baby i still don't wanna move to sacramento |
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| it's been a while.... |
[Apr. 18th, 2007|02:44 pm] |
There is a possibility that you will fall in to a bit of a regression today as old feelings of anxiety or inadequacy surface. Although you have reached a good place in terms of self-confidence some very old childhood fears might surface. These old emotions bubbling up could be an impediment in your interactions with your co-workers or friends today so be mindful of what is under the surface for you, dear Gemini.
Tugs on the home front may be pulling you away from attending an event with friends that you have been looking forward to for some time. Try to be reasonable and sort out the needs of those at home with kindness in your heart. You may be able to address those issues and still have time to be with your friends afterwards. Just remember, dear Aquarius, to keep your priorities straight.
i do not want to move to sacramento.
i am poor.
it's been almost a year since i've been on livejournal.
it's as boring now as it was then.
there's a lot of stupid shit going on
fuck sacramento
doesn't he even realize that money has a lot to do with it
i'd rather be here and not pay ANY rent at all
but he's like blah blah blah
i dont' even like brody
or jade
they can fuck off
my ass
sg ei sghseigjeij gsljg
egfuckci
fucking shit
i hate school
but school is very nearly over
yay |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 30th, 2006|02:15 pm] |
california is where i live
i like to drink cough medicine but i haven't done that in a while, not to say i wouldn't
graduation is like near
and boring is as boring does
japanese == filled up == sad stuff
ohaio gozaimasu
psoriasis everywhere
baked in a pie/ don't cook pineapple no matter what
and then i ate his lungs |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 30th, 2006|02:04 pm] |
carlas birthday
we should have a double birthday party one day where we eat some mushrooms and go to the river
but we don't drown because that is ultimate rain on the parade status
>>>>>>>college
make that
+ History of the united states
+ humanities
+ american government
+ english
+ math
but no japanese because that class is full for now.
that is a lot of school though so i think i'll take the humanaties one another semester so i can be a 12 unit kid.
without money for gas
hobo living on the street
going to college
beauty school dropout
100 dollars = model
universal studios was pretty fun
but going on a plane was better. |
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| well |
[Apr. 1st, 2006|03:46 pm] |
i've deemed it necessary to clean the house.
this includes remos room.
for one thing, i simply MUST find harvest moon so that i can play it for several hours due to the recent withdrawals.
for another thing, my decision to quit smoking has made me antsy and uncertain of what to do with myself.
yet another reason is that my poor mother is working herself into a drudge and if nobody else will take the time to help i may as well.
also, remos room is a wretched mess, the whole house is a wretched mess and it's honestly getting on my nerves.
another thing is that i can't expect to be regarded as a decent daughter unless i begin to behave like one.
also, i think there may be a possiblity of victoria getting a job, thus giving me 50 cents here or there for laundry or vacuuming.
not to mention the fact that i can't even lay down in my own house without getting nasty white dog hair all over me. it's awful.
another thing i've deemed necessary- communication with my mother by means of letters. i've come to the conclusion over the last few years that we have NO CHEMISTRY orally. we immediately take offense to eachothers words so if i choose to communicate in the best way i know how, maybe we can get a better relationship going.
so that's my conclusion for the day
also, elftown is acting up, it's pissing me off.
the end |
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| silly rabbit |
[Apr. 1st, 2006|09:22 am] |
don't you know you're a gorgeous kid!
don't you know you're well read?
don't you know you're perfect for him?
you happen to suffer from low self esteem.
i'm reading pride and prejudice and it's kicking my ass every page!
i go OH MR DARCY!!! and i just love it so much!
and fuck mr wickham!
yeaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh |
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| RIDICULOUS |
[Mar. 31st, 2006|12:41 pm] |
ricockulous
so there's this girl, and her name is hannah. and she has the same boots as me. and she wears these nice clothes. and she's sitting next to kj
and her head is on his shoulder.
and it's nothing because they're friends and have been.
but i run to the bathroom and throw up
and upon my exit i ask this girl i barely know from choir class, Know where to get any drugs?
she says no, sorry
she thinks i'm crying when really my eyes are just watering from forcing myself to vomit.
now i smell like vomit.
I can't be like this, you know?
it's horrible! to be so indebted to someone as to throw up at the sight of him near someone else. it's what i've been expecting all along, pain.
and for no reason!
and if i were to tell kj i'd just feel stupid
i want to rip her hair out, long hair.
i want to kick her in the chest.
i want to do some very mean things, when i don't even know the girl and i'm sure she's an awesome chica.
i want to rip my own tongue out for having said that.
i want to break my fingers off.
i want to stop being so violent.
i hear chucky say not Violence is bad, VIOLINS are bad!
i want to talk to someone else.
so i'm going to go home and i'm going to talk to kaydee and remo and victoria and joe and mark. not mark.
did i mention mark walked in on me and kj having sex
did i mention i smell like vomit?
not even coricidin vomit, i'm talking about nasty-i-ate-a-shitload-of-eggs-and-onions-then-forced-myself-to-puke-vomit.
which is a lot worse than what the cough medicine does.
i want to get high
oh man i want to get high
i want to give blood
i'm not going to give blood
i don't belong here.
i don't belong here
i had a dream i was flying, away.
i think it to represent...i fantasize to get away from my problems. i take wing, which humans can't do. it's more dissociating
it's hannah stalking kj and i hope she doesn't fucking...stick around
it's me going well fuck she's probably a better match for him anyway
and when i appeared he ignored me? until she left? am i making this up?
and i fucking pissed off or what?
it's hectic
fuck today
fuck friday
i decided that i classify elton john as punk rock.
yeah yeah yeah!
YOU KNOW THAT WE AINT SHIT YEAH YEAH YEAH!
you're making a mountain out of a molehill! |
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| hearts |
[Mar. 22nd, 2006|10:38 am] |
Thump Thump Thump
It's heart on heart and hand on hand,
During a nice dinner that tasted bad.
It's erotic and exotic:
Expensive escapades in film of black and white,
Capturing your heart in midair.
It's mocha and cream, swirling together in the coffee cup,
Melting into eachother:
Two worlds colliding.
It's major production of tiny red valentines,
Pumping through my veins.
Light switch, blue eyed.
Light switch, brown eyed.
Take in a breath and hold it
For the man that is on your horizon.
Endorphins- we win. |
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starkinsanity's journal